Is This Real or a Nightmare? It's both! It's Reality!

Background

The closing of a church is never an easy thing. Our church was dying a slow and painful death. To be good stewards, the church property was sold and the small band of believers who were left began to have services in a small hotel conference room. I was the minister of music at the time and occasionally gave a sermon or two. The plan was to find a permanent location, but the group became restless and abruptly voted to close the church down. There was little fan fair and no time for preparation of the heart for what had happened. We went our separate ways, many of us lost and without a church home.

With my parents and fellow nurse after my 1st sermon at the church.

Spring 2015

Tom (former elder): The phone rings, “Hey Janet, do you have a minute?”

Me: “Sure Tom.”

Tom: “I have had an idea on my mind for quite some time. I wanted to start another church. I have a building and have been working with the denomination. Would you be interested in leading the worship?”

Me: “Sure! When do we start?”

Tom: “Next Sunday okay?”

Me: Being a glutton for punishment, “Yeah, great! Just tell me where.”

The next four months were great. I was leading worship in a small church that reminded me of a church that I had grown up in locally. It was warm and friendly, there just weren’t any people. I was leading worship, and my friend was giving the message each week. We shared our thoughts and dreams. We talked about how we would like to change up the services. We made plans. It was perfect. The plan was simple, work with the denomination to get their approval for the church and officially declare the church open.

The new church

But there were things I did not know about. Call me naïve but I had my assumptions about how to start a church and that turned out to be very much wrong. I was not alone in those assumptions, as my pastor friend was thinking the same thing as I was. Frankly, since we were part of starting the church, we both thought we would be in the roles we were currently filling. We were excited and filled with hope. After losing my last ministry position quite abruptly, this was an answer to prayer. But we could not have been more wrong.

During one of the services, Tom made an announcement. The denomination granted the opening of the church under its denominational name. Regional churches within the denomination made a financial commitment to support the new church. With this announcement came the requirements from the denomination. The denomination chose the new minister for the church. Those attending the church were not asked. There were no meetings to discuss the events that were occurring. Only Tom, who had been given the rank of elder, was involved in the planning meetings. Even then, Tom had little voice in what was happening. The denomination was taking over and putting things in place that most of us did not know about which included the selection of a new minister.

Yes, someone else outside of our group who had started the new church had been chosen to be the pastor. My heart broke for my friend who had spent months preaching at this new church. We both had high hopes for our new ministry positions. Then my thoughts went to myself. What about me? No one has said anything to me about losing my ministry position.

I have never been very good at confrontation or trying to be politically correct. I was invited to come to this new church and lead worship. No one ever said it was temporary. I was confused and my anger started to build. After stewing for a week, I got up the nerve and approached Tom. I needed to know my fate. I stumbled over my words but finally asked him about the worship minister position and if I would still be leading worship. My worst fears were confirmed. The new pastor was bringing his own worship leader who was also his best friend to start the church. I was out effective the following week.

I stood there in shock. No advanced warning. I just lost another ministry position, one that I was invited to lead. I was happy. I had weeks of music planned. What should have been a great and joyous time of starting a new church went poof in a blink of an eye.

The depositing of fresh contaminated soil in an already planted bed of anger, disappointment, and disillusionment had been laid. Not only did I lose one ministry earlier in the year when my church closed, but now, I had lost another after accepting and supporting the opening of a new church start. My dream evaporated before my eyes. My opportunity to be in a ministry and a worship leader position gone, again. Ouch was an understatement. I was angry, hurt, and disillusioned.

I was too shaken to process what was happening at that moment. I did not realize until much later there were things I needed to face, confront, and accept. I did not realize that I needed time to process everything that had happened. All I felt was the pain and anger. I did not see a plan for my future. I saw loss. I saw time slipping away from me. I saw my dream given to someone else.

I was about to enter my first year of seminary and formation classes and I needed a clear mind. On top of my ministry life, my responsibilities to my parents were ramping up quickly, requiring more of my time and attention. Things were getting messy pretty quick, and I had not even started my first class. I was without a ministry as I started my first year of formation. Looking back, I realize that this allowed me time to settle into seminary but the contaminated soil from two lost ministry positions was left, ready to bloom during Formation Two.

When does Spiritual Formation Occur?

Spiritual formation happens during life. Formation is what happens in our daily lives that affect us, imprints us, causes us to choose how to respond, and molds us into a new being every day. Little did I know at the time that the things I experienced in 2015 were working to shape me into the person I am now, taking me in a new direction, and shaping the ministry that I would perform for God’s kingdom.

My plan at the time was not His plan. My dream was not His dream for me. His plan for my life is something I would have never dreamed of back in 2015. As it turns out, His plan is much better and much more fun which is pretty great after going through three years of gut twisting, mind bending, turning inside out, and experiencing many painful self-revelations.

God uses all things for our good. Whether we view the events in our lives as positive or negative, God is at work and God used the events in my life back in 2015 to set the wheels in motion for a major spiritual war and transformation, a process that lasted over two years.

Spiritual formation can’t be planned, that is God’s job. You also do not need to be a seminary student to experience spiritual formation. All it takes is a willing and open heart. Sure, as Christians we may set up a plan to read our Bibles every day and spend time in

prayer, but spiritual formation is more than just practicing some spiritual disciplines. It’s much deeper than that. God speaks to us through His Word, but we have to take it a step further. It’s how we use the Word in our every-day lives that brings about spiritual growth. Spiritual growth occurs when we are in a real-life situation that calls on us to use what we learned in the Bible into action. When people see Jesus and not us, that’s spiritual formation.

God wants all believers journey with God and undergo spiritual transformation into the image of Christ. The Word of God calls us to transform our hearts and lives into the image of Christ.[1] The apostle Paul worked tirelessly to grow the church into the image of Jesus. This didn’t stop when Paul died, it’s still expected, and we have the books of the Bible to help us discover how to grow spiritually. But it is more than just God’s Word that brings spiritual growth. God provided us a helper. That’s right, the Holy Spirit.

When we step toward God, He steps towards us, meeting us where we are at. We cannot cause spiritual formation to happen. Transformation occurs through the work of the Holy Spirit. When a believer surrenders to God and allows themselves to be guided by the Spirit, a transformation occurs, taking the believer farther into the arms of God than they ever thought. And the Spirit works within us to make transformation possible. I will talk more about that at another time.

So How Does the Bible Fit in Your Life Right Now?

Spiritual formation, also known as growing spiritually, starts with accepting Jesus and reading God’s Word. God connects with us in many ways. The primary way is through the reading of God’s Word, the Bible. The Word is living and active. God’s Word touches us in ways that nothing else can. It illuminates, penetrates, exposes, and transforms our hearts and minds as we read and study it.[2] Through God’s Word, we see ourselves. We are given commandments, life lessons, and instruction. We receive comfort and assurance. The Bible can be trusted. 2 Timothy 3; 16-17 tells us that, “All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, or reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work.” The Old and New Testament is the foundation and guide to understanding and defining spiritual formation for all believers.[3] God’s Word is not only descriptive but prescriptive to living one’s life.[4]

Are you spending time with God in His Word? Maybe you are or maybe you aren’t. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means your human. Most Christians don’t spend time in the Word, so don’t feel bad or think I just called you on the carpet. It’s reality. Even I struggle with reading the Bible on a regular basis. Yes, that’s right, I just admitted to

struggling to read the Bible regularly and I went to seminary and lead a ministry. Plus, I love that book! I love God! But this is reality. Be it good or bad, I am being real here.

So, I am going to throw something out there. God connects with us in a variety of ways. For each person it is different. He just doesn’t use the Bible and call it a day. God uses everything to connect with us. His Word, other people, events in our lives, nature, passions, etc. It all gets used. The question is, how does He connect with you? Have you seen Him talk to you in other ways than the Bible? Have you even looked for it?

God is not a cookie cutter type of God and you were not created in a cookie cutter fashion. You are unique and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14; Jeremiah 1:5; Ephesians 2:10). You have passions, desires, and dreams that are unique to you. You have skills and talents that were given only to you. Think about that. Then, think and watch. How is God connecting with you? What have you missed by not knowing this? Watch and be amazed. There is so much more to come.

Peace, Janet

[1] Richard E. Averbeck, The Kingdom Life, (The Navigators, 2010), 277. [2] Averbeck, 275. [3] Averbeck, 281. [4] Averbeck, 284.